I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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