East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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