Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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