Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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