I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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