You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
