Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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