Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
