Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
