At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
