I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
