I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
