drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
