It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
