Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
