he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize