Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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