yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
