Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i don't like sucking hair
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize