careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize