Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
