I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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