I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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