Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize