Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
