She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
