the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
