If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
