Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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