And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
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I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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