Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
