I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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