Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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