Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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