I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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