The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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