I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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