why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
