He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
