She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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