Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
