I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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