So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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