On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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