WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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