Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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