I just saw a hot homeless man
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
