Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize