I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
