just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
