Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
