im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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