im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
