There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
