i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no. you can't hotbox the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
