Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
