I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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