Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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