This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
